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bruhcardi:

when u take off ur iphone case and it feels like ur holding a newborn

mr-radical:

sometimes i look at my follower count and think “wow thats a lot of people i probably disappoint on a regular basis”

thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”

There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her.
"No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”

And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

brookeeverdeen:

"everything jennifer lawrence does is just an act!"

here is jennifer lawrence in 1995

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you know which girl i’m talking about 

moldybass:

broccoliavenger:

meulins-choice-ass:

87daysbefore:

me: 

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you:

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Lemon is someone out  theres favorite.

thats the most uplifting thing ive read all day

*sweats nervously* lemon is actually my favorite

loopyleprechaun:

I googled guinea pig with brussel sprouts and let me tell you I was not disappointed 

evxlution:

this is me when I’m flirting with someone
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joshpeckofficial:

when you develop a crush on someone that you have no chance with

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clearlypositive:

one time in the second grade i forgot how to spell corn on a test so i cried

khaleesi-stars:

hellazan:

fury-oh-sea:

um.

YEEA AND SHE IS ONLY EXACTLY 5 FT TALL, GUYS THE WARPED WALL IS 15 FT TALL!!!!!

my hero

allthingspiggly:

worldofthecutestcuties:

She fell over with that face the moment I started rubbing her belly

Belly scratches are heaven to a pig.

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