when u take off ur iphone case and it feels like ur holding a newborn
sometimes i look at my follower count and think “wow thats a lot of people i probably disappoint on a regular basis”
Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.
When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”
There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her.
"No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”
And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.
"everything jennifer lawrence does is just an act!"
here is jennifer lawrence in 1995
you know which girl i’m talking about
Lemon is someone out theres favorite.
thats the most uplifting thing ive read all day
*sweats nervously* lemon is actually my favorite
I googled guinea pig with brussel sprouts and let me tell you I was not disappointed
this is me when I’m flirting with someone
when you develop a crush on someone that you have no chance with
one time in the second grade i forgot how to spell corn on a test so i cried
YEEA AND SHE IS ONLY EXACTLY 5 FT TALL, GUYS THE WARPED WALL IS 15 FT TALL!!!!!